Wheel of Stuff
by Thief-Chan
Summary: Spin the wheel of Stuff to mess with the minds of your favorite Yu-gi-oh character! (Or mirai-torankusu!)
1. We need Reviews

Thief-Chan: Ah, the randomness. 

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh, but I do have the characters locked in my closet. Does that count?

Thief-Chan: Hello, as you know I am Thief-Chan. Not to be confused with Thief, who is character me not **me**, me.

Thief: What's the point of this fan fiction, anyway?

Thief-Chan: I'm getting to that!

(Thief disappears)

Thief-Chan: This is my fan fiction. Mine! All mine! *Cough* Uh, well…yeah! Let me explain this fan fiction and what it's all about. Here in my hand is my Wheel of Stuff! 

(Waves Wheel of Stuff like an idiot)

Thief-Chan: The Wheel of Stuff has two sides to it. The first side reads as follows:

Bash

Ask

Torture

Dream

Note

Camera

Journal

Thief-Chan: The second side of the wheel reads as follows:

Bakura

Yami-Bakura

Yugi

Yami-Yugi

Kaiba

Tea

Joey

Tristan

Malik

Yami-Malik

Other

Thief-Chan: Now here's how this works. First off, you have to review. Don't review this story will go absolutely nowhere!

Bakura: Which is a good thing.

Thief-Chan: Be quiet or I'll release the fan girls!

(Bakura sits down whimpering)

Thief-Chan: Now then, when you review you pick two sides of the wheel. You pick a character and an action. If you choose 'Bash', I'll bash the character. *Smiles delightedly* If you choose 'Ask' then you also must choose a question you wish to ask them. Please don't always choose ask, I don't want to turn this into an 'ask Bakura' or 'ask Yami-Yugi' fan fic. 

Bakura: No one wants that.

Thief-Chan: If you choose 'Torture' state what form of torture you wish to ensue on the character. I.e. release the fan girls, lock them in a cage, push them in a shark tank…

Bakura: You've been planning all of this behind my back haven't you?

Thief-Chan: No, of course not, I planned it in front of you not behind you.

Bakura: …

Thief-Chan: If you choose 'Dream' then I will force the character into a dream state, which is very entertaining.

Bakura: Oh Kami, please help me…

Thief-Chan: It won't necessarily be you, you know.

Bakura: Still…

Thief-Chan: If you choose 'Note' you can just write them a simple message. It could be a good note or a bad note, you decide. If you choose 'Camera' then I will take this camera and record them without their knowing. If you choose 'Journal' you can read an entry of their journals. Aren't I evil?

Bakura: Yes!

Thief-Chan: Why thank you! Oh yes, if you choose 'other' as your character, you may enter what ever character you like as long as he, or she, is from Yu-gi-oh. Now review this story stating your two sides of the Wheel of Stuff. Once I get five reviews I'll type up the first chapter. 

Bakura: Please save us!

(Thief-Chan drags Bakura away)


	2. Poor Kaiba

Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Yu-gi-oh…sadly…

Thief-Chan: Hello, every one! Thanks to all who kindly reviewed my story.

(All the characters sit down on chairs next to Thief)

Thief-Chan: Are you guys ready?

All-except-Thief-Chan: No!

Thief-Chan: Great! Let's spin the Wheel of Stuff!

(Thief-Chan spins the Wheel of Stuff. It goes around a few times before landing on Yami Bakura)

Bakura: Phew, it wasn't me!

(Yami-Bakura glares at Bakura who quickly falls silent)

Thief-Chan: This ought to prove interesting.

Yami-Bakura: You better hope it's something good, or it's off to the Shadow Realm for you!

Thief-Chan: Whatever!

(Thief-Chan spins the Wheel of Stuff again and it lands on 'Journal')

Yami-Bakura: …

(Yami-Malik bursts out laughing)

Yami-Malik: We get to read the Tomb Robber's journal!

Thief-Chan: Thanks to Mirai-Torankusu for reviewing! Now then, here's a page from Yami-Bakura's very own journal!

Yami-Bakura: Oh great…

"April 1, 2003 AD

That baka light of mine gave me a piece of paper today and told me to write on it. I don't see what the point of this is. I ask him for a knife so I can kill someone but instead he hands me a pen and paper and tells me to write. He said I needed to write down what happened to me today so I guess I'll do so.

When I went outside this morning after taking over Ryou's body and trapping him in the Millennium Ring, I met up with the Pharaoh's light. He said that I could have his Millennium Puzzle so I reached out to take it, but when I grabbed it I got electrocuted. He yelled 'April Fools'. The other day I called Ryou a fool for not letting me take over the world. Now what is so bloody special about being an 'April' fool?

Well I showed that baka light that you don't mess with the Tomb Robber! Right after he electrocuted me I banished him to the Shadow Realm! Nobody messes with the almighty Tomb Robber! One day I'll be pharaoh and everybody else will be the 'April fools'"

Thief-Chan: …

Joey: Eh?

Yami-Yugi: Did that really happen?

Yugi: Yes, it was very unpleasant in the Shadow Realm.

Thief-Chan: Shall we spin the wheel again?

Yugi: Can we not and say we did?

Thief-Chan: Where's the fun in that?

(Thief-Chan spins the Wheel of Stuff and it lands on Kaiba)

Yugi: Hey, it's you Kaiba!

Kaiba: Yeah, yeah…

(Thief-Chan spins the Wheel of Stuff and it lands on 'Torture')

Thief-Chan: I like pizza has requested for Kaiba to be attacked by fan girls! Thanks for reviewing!

Kaiba: I'll be what?

Bakura: Oh dear…

Yami-Bakura: Who's laughing now, Kaiba?

Thief-Chan: Bring in the cage!

(Thief brings in a large cage and drags Kaiba in)

Kaiba: You can't do this to me!

Thief-Chan: Yes I can! This is my fan fiction. Besides, you signed a contract.

Kaiba: No I didn't!

(Thief shackles Kaiba's legs to the floor of the cage)

Thief-Chan: I strongly urge for every one to duck and wear helmets. 

(Thief releases about eighteen fan girls and lets them in the cage with Kaiba)

Fan Girl1: I LOVE YOU KAIBA!

Fan Girl2: *Glomps*

Fan Girl3: SKWEE!

Fan Girl4: MINE!

Fan Girl5: No he's MINE!

Fan Girl6: MINE!

Mokuba: Back off!

Yugi: *Sweatdrop*

Joey: Is it just me, or is dis gettin' scary?

Yugi: No it's not just you…

Fan Girl8: I got a piece of his coat!

Kaiba: Get me out of here!

Fan Girl9: You're so silly Kaiba!

Fan Girl10: Marry me Kaiba!

Fan Girl11: No, Kaiba's mine! I already made a shrine for him!

Fan Girl12: My shrine for him is better!

Fan Girl13: So, I invested stock in his company!

Fan Girl14: I'll kill Yugi for you!

Yugi: Hey!

Fan Girl15: I'll kill Yugi and Joey for you!

Joey: Say what?

Fan Girl16: *Klings to Kaiba's arm*

Fan Girl17: Get off of me Mokuba!

Bakura: They're scaring me…

Thief-Chan: Maybe I should release him…

(Silence)

Thief-Chan: Nah!

Fan Girl18: Whee!

Thief-Chan: THIEF! GET OUT OF THE CAGE!

(Thief gets out of the cage)

Bakura: How much longer is this going to take? 

Thief-Chan: There are still twelve fan girls left.

Bakura: Great…

Fan Girl19: You're so cute!

Fan Girl20: Duel me Kaiba!

Fan Girl21: You'll lose; nobody can beat Kaiba!

Kaiba: Must escape…

Fan Girl22: Can I see your Blue Eyes Kaiba?

Fan Girl23: I got a strand of his hair!

Fan Girl24: Let's clone him!

Fan Girl25: We'll make a Kaiba army!

Fan Girl26: Yay!

Fan Girl27: I want it!

Fan Girl28: No, it's mine!

Fan Girl29: Mine!

Fan Girl30: Hi.

Thief-Chan: All right that's it!

(Thief-Chan pulls out AMOD, Anime Mallet of Doom, and forces all the fan girls out of the cage. Then she releases Kaiba out of the cage)

Kaiba: …

Yugi: I think he'll be scarred for life…

Joey: No kiddin'.

Thief-Chan: Time to spin the wheel again!

(Thief-Chan spins the Wheel of Stuff and it lands on Joey)

Joey: Aww, great…

Malik: At least you can't be run over by fan girls.

Joey: How are you so sure?

Malik: Because you have none!

Joey: Grrr…why you!

(Thief-Chan spins the wheel again and it lands on 'Camera')

Thief-Chan: Ooh! This'll be fun! Thanks to Blaze for reviewing!

Joey: …

Yugi: 'Camera'?

Bakura: Thief-Chan's going to play a video that she taped behind Joey's back.

Yugi: Oh…

(Thief-Chan pops a videotape in the VCR)

Thief-Chan: Ready?

Yami-Bakura: Wait!

(Yami-Bakura leaves the room and re-enters carrying a bowl filled with popcorn)

Yami-Bakura: Ready.

(Thief-Chan plays the tape)

Joey: I can fly!

(Joey jumps off his bed with his arms forward. He falls flat on his stomach)

Joey: Ow! I guess I can't fly…

(Joey stands up)

Joey: Hey, there's a camera in my room.

(Joey stares at the camera for a while. Tristan enters Joey's room)

Tristan: Hey, Joey what are you looking at?

Joey: There's a camera in my room.

Tristan: Really?

(Tristan stares at the camera)

Joey: Hey, wanna fly?

Tristan: Sure!

(Tristan stands on Joey's bed and jumps off) 

Joey: That's not how you fly!

(Joey jumps off the bed and hits the camera ending the tape)

Yugi: What was that all about?

Joey: Uh…

Thief-Chan: Well that's all for this time on Wheel of Stuff. Continue reviewing and the madness will continue! Be creative when you give your reviews or suggestions. Thank you and goodnight. Unless your reading it in the morning, daytime, or afternoon.

(A note from Thief: Kaiba was not hurt in the making of this story)


	3. Dueling bakas and endless torture

Thief-Chan: Wow! I've been getting reviews. Go me!

Bakura: Yeah, yeah…

Thief-Chan: Aren't you happy for me?

Bakura: Not really…

Thief-Chan: Why not?

Bakura: I just know something bad is going to happen to me!

Thief-Chan: Nonsense! Do you have any idea how many Bakura fans there are?

 Bakura: Yes, but Kaiba has tons and look what they did to him!

Thief-Chan: Good point…Cue the disclaimer!

Disclaimer: I don't own any Yu-gi-oh characters, but I do have their voodoo dolls. 

Thief-Chan: Welcome back to Wheel of Stuff!

Yami-Bakura: Take off the 'W' and change one of the e's to 'l'…

Thief-Chan: Shut up.

Yami-Bakura: Make me!

(All the characters sit down next to Thief-Chan)

Thief-Chan: We've got some great stuff planned for today!

Yugi: That means one of us is going to die.

Thief-Chan: Yes, but which one? 

(Thief-Chan laughs manically)

Yugi: She's scaring me…

Thief-Chan: Shall I spin the Wheel of Stuff? Don't answer that was a rhetorical question.

(Thief-Chan spins the Wheel of Stuff and it lands between Kaiba and Yami-Yugi)

Yami-Yugi: Oh, sorry looks like you'll have to spin it again.

Thief-Chan: Nope! I'll just have to use both of you!

Kaiba: …

(Thief-Chan spins the wheel again and it lands on 'Torture')

Yami-Yugi: E-gads no…

Kaiba: Kami help me…

Thief-Chan: Mirai-torankusu has requested that the two of you be forced into a duel…

Kaiba: YES!

Thief-Chan: …the winner has to marry a fan girl of their choice…

Yami-Yugi: Oh crap…

Thief-Chan: …and the loser is locked into a cage with their fan girls for a week!

Kaiba/Yami-Yugi: NO!

Yami-Bakura: Aha, Pharaoh!

Kaiba: What if we refuse?

Thief-Chan: Fan girls are waiting at the only exit.

Bakura: What are we doing here anyway?

Thief-Chan: Entertaining people of course!

Thief-Chan: Ready?

(Kaiba and Yami-Yugi take out their decks and the life points are set to 5000)

Yami-Yugi: Why do we have to do this?

Thief-Chan: Because Mirai-torankusu is a great reviewer!

Kaiba: I'll kill him…

Life point count: Yugi sucks!

Life point count: Kaiba sucks too!

Kaiba: …

Yami-Yugi: …

(A.N: Don't ask if some parts of this duel don't make any sense. We had stunt doubles in real life act this out so we'd know exactly how the match would go…sort of)

Kaiba/Yami-Yugi: Let's…not duel!

Thief-Chan: DUEL!

Kaiba/Yami-Yugi: Eep…

(Life point count makes that weird noise thing)

Yami-Yugi: I place one card face down and I play the Lesser Dragon!

Kaiba: A good move…if you were a baby! Mwahaha! Fear my insult!

(Kaiba draws)

Kaiba: I place this card face down and I play Jiari Gumo in attack mode! Attack!

(Kaiba flips a coin)

Kaiba: I call heads!

(It lands on tails)

(Lesser Dragon dies)

Thief-Chan: Kaiba loses half his life points!

Kaiba's life points: 2500

(Yami-Yugi draws and plays one card face down)

Yami-Yugi: Go ahead Kaiba attack my life points directly.

Kaiba: I reveal Emperor's Holiday! 

(Nothing happens)

Yami-Yugi: I place one card face down…and one in defense mode.

Kaiba: What time is it?

(Yami-Yugi looks at his wrist)

Yami-Yugi: This would work better if my watch weren't a sundial!

Kaiba: Fool! You didn't set it for daylight savings!

Yami-Yugi: Oh…

(Kaiba draws and talks to himself)

Kaiba: I attack that card!

(Kaiba flips a coin and it lands heads)

Kaiba's life points: 1250

Kaiba: And Jirai Gumo dies!

(It dies)

Yami-Yugi: I place one card face down…

Kaiba: Is that it? Baka…I place these three cards face down. I also place this card in defense mode.

(Yami-Yugi waves his wrist)

Yami-Yugi: That's all I do!

Thief-Chan: This is going nowhere…

(Kaiba starts playing Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4)

Thief-Chan: BAKA, PAY ATTENTION!

Kaiba: What?

(Thief-Chan turns off the Game Cube)

Yami-Yugi: I play Monster Reborn to reborn Jerai Gumo!

(Yami flips a coin and it lands tails)

Yami-Yugi: I lose half my life points!

Yami-Yugi life points: 2000

Thief-Chan: Stop trying to lose!

Kaiba: I activate Rush Recklessly! But it doesn't do anything.

Yami-Yugi: I summon Yado Karu in attack mode!

Thief-Chan: …

Yami-Bakura: More popcorn!

Joey: This duel sucks!

Thief-Chan: No kidding…

Kaiba: I play Lord of D in attack!

Lord of D: Roar! I'm Lord of D!

Yami-Yugi: I switch Jerai Gumo in defense mode! I attack with Yado, causing me to lose 300 life points!

Yami-Yugi's life points: 1700

(Kaiba switches Lord of D to defense mode)

Yami-Yugi: I attack with Yado Karu!

Yami-Yugi life points: 1500

Kaiba: No! I must LOSE!  
(Kaiba draws three cards)

Kaiba: _If I cheat then I lose…_

Thief-Chan: STOP THAT!

Kaiba: Lord of D, attack Yado Karu!

Yami-Yugi life points: 1200

Yami-Yugi: I summon the Big Eye in attack mode! No, defense! No, attack! No wait…defense!

Yugi: …

Kaiba: I play this card in defense mode.

Yami-Yugi: I sacrifice all my monsters!

(Looks at his top five cards)

(Kaiba cracks his neck for no apparent reason)

Yami-Yugi: I summon the Red Eyes Black Dragon!

Kaiba: I attack your Red Eyes!

Kaiba's life points: 50

Lord of D: No!!!!!!!!! I love you Kaiba!

Kaiba: Ew…

(Lord of D dies)

Kaiba: I summon Battle Ox in defense mode!

Yami-Yugi: I play, Dark hole!

All monsters: We're dead!

Kaiba: I play Lajin!

Lajin: You wish, I squish!

Yami-Yugi: If you attack me you win. If you don't you're a coward.

(Kaiba plays a card face down)

Yami-Yugi: I saw what it was; it's Eternal Rest.

Kaiba: IT'S ETERNAL REST! I ALSO HAVE REMOVE TRAP AND HORN OF LIGHT!  
Yami-Yugi: Look at MY hand!

(Thief-Chan sprays both of them with a hose)

Thief-Chan: GET BACK TO THE DUEL!

(Yami draws)

Yami-Yugi: I place one card face down.

Kaiba: I play one card in defense mode. And I activate my ritual, Turtle Oath! And since I don't have enough monsters, they all die! So instead of that, I get Spear Cretin in attack mode!

Spear Cretin: Gollum…

Yami-Yugi: I do nothing!

Kaiba: First I sacrifice Spear Cretin! And I summon Lord of D!

Lord of D: …

Kaiba: And I sacrifice him, again, to summon Judge Man!

Judge Man: Hmm…

Yami-Yugi: I kill you!

Kaiba: How?

Yami-Yugi: Because you don't use the heart of the Cards!

Thief-Chan: Okay Yami-Yugi, pick a fan girl.

(Millions of fan girls surround him)

Fan Girl: PICK ME!

Yami-Yugi: Uh well…who loves me?

(All of them cheer)

Yami-Yugi: Well there goes that idea…how many of you hate Tea?

Tea: I don't!

Yami-Yugi: Well that takes off Tea…

Tea: *Pouts*

TSF: Pick me!

Yami-Yugi: Fine, I choose her.

TSF: YAY!

(TSF glomps Yami-Yugi)

Thief-Chan: Well, there you go. Kaiba, you're turn!

(Thief-Chan locks Kaiba in a cage with all of his fan girls who randomly glomp him)

Thief-Chan: Shall we spin the wheel?

(Thief-Chan spins the Wheel of Stuff and it lands on Yami-Bakura)

Yami-Bakura: Not again!

Yami-Yugi: Ha!

TSF: Heehee!

(TSF is The Shoe Fairy…just so you know)

Thief-Chan: Okay…

(Thief-Chan spins the wheel and it lands on 'Ask')

Kaiba: SAVE ME!

Thief-Chan: *Ignoring Kaiba* StuMP has a simple question…

"Hey Yami-Bakura, how do you always get back to Ryou when he gets rid of the Millennium Ring?"

Thief-Chan: That's a good question.

Bakura: I'd like to know the answer to that as well.

Yami-Bakura: Well the answer is, because I'm..

(Close up on Yami-Bakura with a darkened-lightning-filled background)

Yami-Bakura: YAMI BAKURA! MWAHAHAHA!

Bakura: *Sweatdrop*

Thief-Chan: Yeah…okay…

(Thief-Chan spins the Wheel of Stuff and it lands on Yugi)

Yugi: Great…

(Thief-Chan spins it once more and it lands on 'Ask')

Thief-Chan: What do you know? We have to questions for Yugi!

"Hey Yugi, how much do you and Yami-Yugi spend on hair gel in a year?"

Thief-Chan: Thanks for the review, EnErGiZeR-BuNnY.

Yugi: How much do we spend?

Yami-Yugi: I don't-

TSF: WHEE!

Yami-Yugi: …

Yugi: Well it depends on the brand. Just get the price of the brand and multiply it by 182…

Thief-Chan: You use 182 bottles in a year?

Yugi: Usually, why?

Thief-Chan: Never mind…On to Jasmine's question.

"Hey Yugi, will you go on a date with me?"

Yugi: O.O

Yami-Yugi: …

TSF: No! Both of them are mine!

Yugi: …uh, well it depends on your personality…and uh, stuff.

Thief-Chan: Good question…maybe I should add 'Date' to the Wheel of Stuff…

Bakura: NO! Thief will try to attack me if you add that!

Thief-Chan: Good point. Let's spin the wheel!

(Thief-Chan spins the wheel and it lands on Yami-Bakura then moves to Yami-Yugi)

Thief-Chan: Looks like both of you will be tortured!

Yami-Bakura: Haven't we been tortured enough?

Thief-Chan: Nope! Besides, it might not be 'Torture'.

(Thief-Chan spins the Wheel of Stuff and it lands on 'Torture')

Yami-Yugi: …

Yami-Bakura: I hate you!

Thief-Chan: Thanks for reviewing StuMP! I'd torture Malik, but…he might kill me. Now as for you two, you'll be tortured by switching your lights.

Yami-Bakura: WHAT?!

TSF: No! I don't want Bakura!

Bakura: …

Yugi: They'll be tortured? I'm the one who's getting screwed!

Thief-Chan: Oh shut up Yugi!

Yugi: …

Thief-Chan: There you have it. Bakura is now Yami-Yugi's light for a few days and Yugi is Yami-Bakura's light for a few days. 

Kaiba: Get me out!

Fan Girl: We love you Kaiba!

Yami-Yugi: Never thought I'd be happy I didn't lose…

Thief-Chan: Sorry Kaiba, you're in there until next week.

Bakura: Yay! I have a nice Yami!

Yami-Bakura: You're going to pay when you are my light again! 

Yugi: You aren't going to kill me are you?

Yami-Bakura: Off to the Shadow Realm with you!

Yugi: Ah!

(Thief-Chan spins the Wheel of Stuff again. It lands on Tea)

Thief-Chan: Well, Jasmine left it up to me to decide what to do to Tea. I choose-bashing!

Tea: What?

(Thief-Chan bashes Tea over the head with AMOD)

Thief-Chan: DIE TEA!

Bakura: That's all for today! Review and the madness shall continue! (Thief paid me to say that…)


	4. Whiskers McFluffFluff, miraitorankusu, a...

Thief-Chan: ...  
  
Disclaimer: Yeah...you know...that thing I always right here. Don't make me right it. Oh wait, it's probably been so long since I've updated that you've forgotten what I normally right here. I don't own Yu-gi-oh. There.  
  
Thief-Chan: Just so you know, I've just recently left Internet Deprivation. My update for this story was saved on my old computer, but it broke. I don't intend on taking my sweet dear time in re-typing it, so, for the time being of my laziness, I shall...do something.  
  
(All cast members sit, tied to chairs)  
  
Bakura: That's the best you could come up with?  
  
Thief-Chan: Hey, it was short notice!  
  
Yami: Well I'd appreciate it if you could solve a problem for me.  
  
Thief-Chan: What problem would that be?  
  
(Yami raises his arm. TSF clings on to it)  
  
Thief-Chan: Oh yeah. TSF, I hearby iniciate your and Yami's divorce.  
  
TSF: NO! That's not fair!  
  
Yami: Yes! I'm free!  
  
Kaiba: What about me?  
  
(The fangirls still glomp Kaiba)  
  
Thief-Chan: EEK! It's been over a month hasn't it?  
  
Kaiba: I don't know, it seems I've lost track of time!  
  
(Thief-Chan snaps her fingers and the cage of fangirls disappears releasing Kaiba)  
  
Kaiba: Finally!  
  
Mokuba: Seto!  
  
(Thief-Chan snaps her fingers and Mokuba disappears)  
  
Thief-Chan: Hmm...what do I want to do now?  
  
Bakura: Set us free?  
  
Thief-Chan: Why would I do that?  
  
Bakura: Because you're a nice and caring person?  
  
Thief-Chan: Nice try, but I read the script along with everyone else.  
  
Yugi: I didn't read it...  
  
Joey: If you read the script, why don't you just have us follow it instead of trying to think of what to do?  
  
Thief-Chan: Okay then!  
  
(Thief-Chan opens her backpack only to notice that her script is missing)  
  
Thief-Chan: Uh oh...I've lost the scripts...  
  
Joey: Then I'll write a new one!  
  
Yugi: ...  
  
Yami: ...  
  
Bakura: I don't think that that is a good idea.  
  
Thief-Chan: Well just remember, if anything goes wrong it was Joey's fault!  
  
(Five minutes later...)  
  
Joey: Here are the scripts.  
  
(Joey hands everyone their script)  
  
Yami: Joey, the script is only five pages long!  
  
Joey: C'mon, I only had five minutes to write!  
  
Thief-Chan: Ready, action!  
  
Yugi: Hey Joey, best friend in the whole universe, want to duel?  
  
Joey: Why I'd be delighted to duel ya' Yug!  
  
Kaiba: This is retarded...  
  
Yami-Bakura: How come my script has me bleating like a sheep?!  
  
Thief-Chan: Just stick to your lines.  
  
Yami-Bakura: Baaa, I'm Yami-Bakura.  
  
Yami Malik: This isn't as retarded as it seems.  
  
Yami Yugi: Ha ha ha!  
  
Yami Malik: What is it?  
  
Yami Yugi: Wait until you get to your part!  
  
Yami Malik: What?!  
  
(Yami Malik reads the script.)  
  
Yami Malik: You're dead, Wheeler!  
  
(Yami Malik chases Joey around the room.)  
  
Thief-Chan: Let me see that!  
  
(Thief-Chan reads the script.)  
  
Thief-Chan: Well, what do you know, all that's in the script.  
  
Joey: Yup, includin' that line!  
  
Thief-Chan: What?  
  
(Everything Thief-Chan is going to say for the next half-hour is written in the script.)  
  
Thief-Chan: Joey, did you mess with the Super-Secret Time Machine again?!  
  
Joey: Maybe.  
  
Kaiba: What Super-Secret Time Machine?!  
  
Yugi: The Super-Secret Time Machine that's inside of the basement in your office.  
  
Kaiba: What?! You've been snooping in my office?! You'll pay with your life!  
  
Thief-Chan: Uh...get'm fangirls!  
  
(The fangirls swarm Kaiba.)  
  
Kaiba: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Get them off of me!!!!!!!!!  
  
Joey: Yes, fear my typing skills!  
  
(Joey is typing the script, version 2.0.)  
  
Thief-Chan: 2.0?! Oh no, I've...(DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN DRAMATIC REVERB)...lost control of this part of the chapter!  
  
(Since the person typing this part of the chapter is unable to come into the story due to a million laws that have been created in the last few seconds, he will be represented by Tristan...because he's a baka fanboy.)  
  
Tristan: Hey, I'm in the story!  
  
Joey: Hey, look, it's my best friend in the entire world, Tristan!  
  
Tristan: High-five, buddy!  
  
Joey: Down low, pal!  
  
Thief-Chan: I'm leaving...  
  
(Thief-Chan leaves the room, but then comes back.)  
  
Thief-Chan: You're in charge.  
  
Bakura: Me?  
  
Thief-Chan: No, the guy behind you.  
  
Bakura: Huh?  
  
(Bakura turns around and sees a mouse with a pencil behind it's ear, a clipboard, a megaphone and it's sitting in a director's chair eating cheese.)  
  
Thief-Chan: What's your name?  
  
Mouse: Whiskers McFluff-Fluff.  
  
Thief-Chan: Whiskers, you're in charge.  
  
(Thief-Chan leaves.)  
  
Yami Yugi: What a pipsqueak.  
  
Yugi: Ha ha ha ha ha!  
  
Joey: Ha ha ha ha ha!  
  
Bakura(british accent): Ha ha ha ha ha!  
  
Tristan: Ha ha ha ha ha!  
  
Sephiroth: Ha ha ha ha ha!  
  
Some Guy: Ha ha ha ha ha!  
  
That Guy From That Show: Ha ha ha ha ha!  
  
A Garbage Can: Ha ha ha ha ha!  
  
Thief-Chan: Ha ha ha ha ha! Wait, I'm not supposed to be here.  
  
(Thief-Chan leaves.)  
  
Yami Yugi: Why are you all laughing?  
  
Whiskers: Yes, I would also like to know why you are laughing!  
  
Joey: He said pipsqueak and you're a mouse.  
  
Whiskers: You're darn right I'm a mouse! Bow down to the all mighty Whiskers!  
  
Cat: Meow.  
  
Whiskers: Nooooooooo!!!!!! It's my mortal enemy; the cat from Trigun!  
  
(The cat eats Whiskers and leaves.)  
  
Tristan: Noooooo!!!!! He wasn't just a mouse...he was my best friend!  
  
(Tristan starts to cry.)  
  
Serenity: Tristan, why are you crying?  
  
(Tristan gets up and runs over to Serenity.)  
  
Tristan: I'm crying because I'm so happy to see you, baby.  
  
Serenity: Oh, Tristan, you're so silly.  
  
(Tristan and Serenity leave.)  
  
Joey: Hey, that wasn't in the script! Get back here, Tristan!  
  
(Joey leaves and Thief-Chan walks into the room.)  
  
Thief-Chan: Where's Whiskers?  
  
Yami Bakura: He was eaten?  
  
Thief-Chan: _ YOU ATE HIM?????!!!!!  
  
Yami Bakura: O_O No, I didn't eat him!!!!!  
  
Thief-Chan: Then who ate him?!  
  
Bakura: That cat from Trigun.  
  
Thief-Chan: God ate my mouse?!  
  
Everyone: O_O  
  
Thief-Chan: Nevermind.  
  
(Thief-Chan pulls out a cell phone.)  
  
(Meanwhile)  
  
(mirai-torankusu is in his room.)  
  
mirai-torankusu: Fighting evil by moonlight...winning love by daylight...  
  
(The phone rings.)  
  
mirai-torankusu: What the fu-  
  
(mirai-torankusu falls off his bed.)  
  
mirai-torankusu: I don't have a phone in my room!  
  
(You do now.)  
  
mirai-torankusu: No, it's the evil narrator from The Adventures of Thief (please read and review)!  
  
(mirai-torankusu picks up the phone.)  
  
mirai-torankusu: Hello?  
  
Thief-Chan: I need a favor from you.  
  
mirai-torankusu: What is it?  
  
Thief-Chan: Can you watch over these morons for me? My mouse was eaten.  
  
mirai-torankusu: What?  
  
Thief-Chan: Just watch over the Wheel of Stuff for me.  
  
mirai-torankusu: Whatever. It's not like I was doing anything important.  
  
Thief-Chan: Good. I'll see you in a little bit.  
  
mirai-torankusu: Do you know that you and everyone else on ff.net spells my name with a capital m? My name does not have a captial m! All of the letters are lowercase! Lowercase!  
  
Thief-Chan: Stop being a dork and get down here!  
  
(Later)  
  
(mirai-torankusu walks into the room.)  
  
Thief-Chan: That was fast. It only took you five seconds to get here.  
  
mirai-torankusu: I heard Serenity was here.  
  
Thief-Chan: ...  
  
mirai-torankusu: What?  
  
Thief-Chan: She's not here, you idiot!  
  
mirai-torankusu: That's it, I'm outta here.  
  
(The door slams shut.)  
  
mirai-torankusu: Hey!  
  
Thief-Chan: You're going to watch over these people or else!  
  
mirai-torankusu: Or else what?  
  
Thief-Chan: Or else I'll put this up on the internet!  
  
(Thief-Chan puts a tape in the VCR. It shows mirai-torankusu bowing down to a bunch of pictures of his anime heroes. Mostly the girls, because he's a dork.)  
  
mirai-torankusu: Where did you get that?!  
  
Thief-Chan: You're not very good at keeping your door closed, you know.  
  
mirai-torankusu: Fine, I'll do it! Just destroy that tape! I haven't finished that shrine yet; it's not ready to be put on the news.  
  
Thief-Chan: O_O  
  
mirai-torankusu: Just destroy the tape!  
  
Thief-Chan: I'll destroy it, if I'm convinced that you've been doing a good job.  
  
mirai-torankusu: Deal.  
  
Thief-Chan: Good. I'll be back in a few minutes.  
  
(Thief-Chan looks at mirai-torankusu, snickers a little bit, and leaves.)  
  
mirai-torankusu: Okay, fall in!  
  
(Nobody moves.)  
  
mirai-torankusu: I said fall in!  
  
(Again, nobody moves.)  
  
mirai-torankusu: Ah, screw it. Where's the anime collection?  
  
(mirai-torankusu sits down with the others to watch anime.)  
  
(Later)  
  
(Thief-Chan walks into the room.)  
  
Thief-Chan: Okay, I'm ba-  
  
(Everyone except the evil people are crying.)  
  
Thief-Chan: What the?!  
  
Yugi: Poor Sango! She didn't deserve to have her village killed!  
  
Bakura: She only tried to save Japan from demons!  
  
mirai-torankusu: Things like this just break my heart!  
  
Thief-Chan: Just what is going on in here?!  
  
Yami Bakura: If you ask me, her village deserved to be destroyed.  
  
Yami Malik: Yeah, nobody gets in the way of evil!  
  
Thief-Chan: I told you to watch over them!!!!  
  
mirai-torankusu: They didn't get into trouble, did they?  
  
Thief-Chan: I didn't tell you to watch Inu Yasha the whole time!  
  
mirai-torankusu: Hey, we also watched a documentary on how to create the perfect giant robot, you know.  
  
Yami Bakura: Good times...good times...  
  
Thief-Chan: That's it, the tape's going on the internet.  
  
mirai-torankusu: Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Thief-Chan: And as for you!  
  
(She points at Yami-Bakura)  
  
Thief-Chan: I'm altering the script to turn you into a sheep!  
  
Yami-Bakura: What did I do?!  
  
Thief-Chan: You look so cute when you're evil. *Shakes head* I mean, because I said so!  
  
(Thief-Chan heads to her computer, types for awhile, and then Yami-Bakura turns into a sheep)  
  
Yami-Bakura: Curse yo baaaka!  
  
(mirai-torankusu falls to the floor)  
  
mirai-torankusu: Please don't put the tape on the internet! My flawlessness will be ruined, ruined!  
Thief-Chan: ...  
  
Bakura: Oh please don't. I don't think I could stand his whining.  
  
Yami-Malik: You're one to talk you whiny little brat.  
  
Yami-Bakura: Hey! Only I can call my light a whiny little braaat!  
  
Thief-Chan: Will you all shut up!  
  
(Everyone falls silent)  
  
Thief-Chan: There's only one way to settle all of this.  
  
(Five minutes later)  
  
Thief-Chan: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!  
  
(Thief-Chan and mirai-toronkusu both throw a rock. No not literally!)  
  
Yami-Yugi: You've been doing this for five mintues!  
  
Joey: Yeah, just finish dis' already!  
  
Thief-Chan: Fine, I won't post it. But you are now officially my hostage.  
  
(Thief-Chan pulls out Wheel of Stuff and adds mirai-torankusu to the character side)  
  
Thief-Chan: A special thanks to the person who helped type most of this story, Mirai-Torankusu.  
(From off set: That's mirai-torankusu!)  
Thief-Chan: Whatever...  
TSF: No one was hurt in the making of this chapter...not physically anyway. Now then, review! 


	5. Mindless torture

Thief-Chan: *Sighs* It's so peaceful above the disclaimer...  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh. *Cries*  
  
Thief-Chan: Welcome back to Wheel of Stuff! The fan fic where you can torture your favorite character or mirai-torankusu!  
  
MT: This is not fair...  
  
Thief-Chan: No one said this was fair.  
  
Yugi: Are we going to regret that we ever existed?  
  
Thief-Chan: Of course. Now then, let's spin the wheel!  
  
(Thief-Chan spins the wheel and it lands on Tea and bash)  
  
Thief-Chan: StuMP has actually made two requests so I'll do both right now.   
  
Yugi: Great...  
  
Thief-Chan: First...  
  
(Thief-Chan pulls out AMOD, Anime Mallet of Doom, and bashes Tea over the head)  
  
Tea: Hey!  
  
Thief-Chan: Next, it's time to watch a Kaiba dream!  
  
(Kaiba's face appears on the screen and 'Kaiba's dream' is written in fancy letters underneath it)  
  
Kaiba: Yes, I have all three Egyptian God Cards! Nothing will stop me from beating Yugi now!  
  
(Kaiba starts laughing maniacally when Yugi enters the room)  
  
Kaiba: Hey! What are you doing here?  
  
Yugi: I don't know, what are you doing here?  
  
Kaiba: ...  
  
Yugi: ...  
  
Kaiba: Well this is akward.  
  
Mokuba: Seto!  
  
(Mokuba runs on screen in a bunny suit)  
  
Mokuba: I need help with the cookies!  
  
Kaiba: Not now Mokuba!  
  
Mokuba: Pweeze?  
  
(Kaiba rolls his eyes, but follows Mokuba)  
  
Yugi: Hey what am I supposed to do? How do I get out of here?  
  
(Dream ends)  
  
Yugi: What was the point of that?!  
  
Thief-Chan: ...  
  
Yugi: Well?!  
  
Thief-Chan: Let's spin the wheel!  
  
(Lands on Tea and torture)  
  
Thief-Chan: Er...prankster has made a request that Tea is tortured by kissing Tristan, but I take that as Tristan torture, so I'll just bash her over the head again.  
  
(Thief-Chan hits Tea again)  
  
Thief-Chan: Now then, let's continue!  
  
(Thief-Chan spins the wheel and it lands on Kaiba and dream)  
  
Thief-Chan: Heehee, we get to torture Joey with this one.  
  
Joey: What is dat supposed ta mean?  
  
Thief-Chan: Nothing.  
  
(Dream starts)  
  
(Kaiba and Serenity walk down the street holding hands and eating ice cream. Joey spots them)  
  
Joey: Grr...WHAT DO YOU THINK YER DOING?!  
  
Kaiba: Get lost mutt.  
  
Joey: LET GO OF MY-!!!!  
  
Serenity: Uh-oh...  
  
Kaiba: What?  
  
Serenity: He's going to explode again.  
  
(Joey's head explodes)  
  
Kaiba: ???  
  
Serenity: ^-^ He'll be alright.  
  
(Dream ends)  
  
Joey: KAIBA!  
  
Kaiba: What? That was a fake dream, I would never dream about your stupid sister.  
  
Joey: Stupid? Why you-!  
  
(Joey jumps at Kaiba, but Thief stops him)  
  
Thief-Chan: Well that was an...odd...dream...  
  
mirai-torankusu: It was false, every one knows Serenity is mine.  
  
Thief-Chan: Beg your pardon?  
  
mirai-torankusu: Nothing.  
  
(Thief-Chan spins the wheel and it lands on Joey and ask)  
  
Thief-Chan: Okay, Joey, ObiWanGirl asks:  
  
'Joey, will you go out with me?'  
  
Joey: Hehehe. Well ObiWanGirl, I'd love to try and fit you in my schedule...  
  
Yugi: What schedule? We spend all our time here now.  
  
Joey: Hey, be quiet.  
  
(Thief-Chan spins the wheel. It lands on Yami-Yugi and torture)  
  
Thief-Chan: Wow, this ought to be interesting. Yami-Yugi must be locked in a pro-friendship room with Tea.  
  
Yami-Yugi: WHAT?!  
  
Tea: Yay!  
  
(Tea drags Yami into a padded room)  
  
Tea: Let's do a sing-a-long!   
  
Yami-Yugi: Get me out of here!  
  
(Meanwhile outside the room...)  
  
Bakura: How long will he last in there?  
  
Thief-Chan: We'll get him out soon, don't worry.  
  
(One hour later...)  
  
(Tea and Yami emerge from the room. Yami looks like a zombie)  
  
Yugi: Yami, say something!  
  
Yami: Must escape...  
  
Thief-Chan: ...I think I'll just spin the wheel...  
  
(Thief-Chan spins the wheel and it lands on Yugi and message)  
  
Thief-Chan: Okay, here's what Mikomi would like to say:  
  
'Hey Yugi. I think you and Yami are awesome. Hopefully this will keep you from being tortured for awhile...much love, Mickey'  
  
Yugi: Wow...thanks. ^_^ (-Means he's happy)  
  
(Yami slightly returns to his normal self)  
  
Yami: At least I'm not still in that room.  
  
Bakura: What did you do in there anyway?  
  
Yami: Just know this: Disney songs are evil.  
  
(Every one shudders)  
  
Thief-Chan: Okay, I'm tired of spinning the wheel so I'll take random requests. Andross wishes to see what is in Tea's journal.  
  
Tea's Journal:  
  
Day, sixteenth of May, 2003.  
  
Today I counted six butterflies, twelve robins, saw two rainbows, and danced in the light of the bright sunshine. I wrote eighteen new friendship speeches and will use them on random attack. I-  
  
Malik: Make it stop! Her journal is horrifying!  
  
Thief-Chan: Okay...Triforce-Power has made an...er...interesting request. He wishes to...kiss Tea. Why? I have no clue. Tell you what, Mr. Triforce. I'll do better than that: You can keep Tea! Hope you don't mind I didn't rap her.  
  
Tea: Yay! I'm going on a trip!  
  
Thief-Chan: Whatever...Now then, Ethelflaed has requested to see a tape of Pegasus.  
  
(Tape plays. Pegasus is seen drinking whatever it is that he's drinking...)  
  
Pegasus: *hic* Oh give me a hoooooooooooome where the duel monsters rooooooooooooam! *hic*  
  
(Pegasus slumps over too drunk to move)  
  
(A/N: Sorry, I can't think of much to do with certain things)  
  
(Tape ends)  
  
Joey: Dat was disturbing...  
  
Thief-Chan: Tee-hee has requested that I tape Yami-Bakura!  
  
Yami-Bakura: Oh, Ra...  
  
(Tape plays)  
  
(Yami-Bakura pokes the camera)  
  
Yami-Bakura: What is this thing?  
  
(He continues poking it)  
  
Yami-Bakura: I COMMAND YOU TELL ME YOUR PURPOSE!  
  
(Poke, poke)  
  
Yami-Bakura: THAT'S IT! I BANISH YOU TO THE SHADOW REALM!  
  
(Camera breaks; end tape)  
  
Yami-Bakura: That baaka camera deserved it!  
  
Bakura: Great scott! I forgot you were a sheep!  
  
Yami-Bakura: I demand you change me baaack!  
  
Thief-Chan: *Rolls eyes* Fine.  
  
(Thief-Chan changes Yami-Bakura back)  
  
Thief-Chan: I like this one, Tamara Raymond has requested I torture Mokuba! For one day, Mokuba shall be Yami-Bakura and Yami-Malik's personal slave!  
  
Yami-Bakura: Yes!  
  
Yami-Malik: AHAHAHAHA! Haha...  
  
Mokuba: What do I have to do?  
  
Yami-Bakura: Hmmm...I haven't thought of that...  
  
Thief-Chan: Time for a Yugi dream!  
  
(Yugi is walking down an alley)  
  
Yugi: I sure hope I don't get jumped by bloodthirsty vampires right now.  
  
(SUre enough, vampires jump Yugi)  
  
Yugi: NO!  
  
Vampire: *Hiss*  
  
Yugi: Save me Yami!  
  
(End of dream)  
  
Thief-Chan: ._.' THat's it?  
  
Yugi: I woke up after that.  
  
Thief-Chan: That's all the torture I feel like doing today.  
  
mirai_torankusu: Hey, I barely got any lines...  
  
Thief-Chan: Meh...  
  
Thief-Chan: Oh yeah, please no more suggestions for the time being. Thank you. ^-^ 


	6. Why we shall never have vacations

Thief-Chan: To clear up something, this is another random guest episode of Wheel of Stuff. It is written by mirai-torankusu and me.  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh I'd...do something else.  
  
Thief-Chan: Welcome to a special episode of Wheel of Stuff. As you may already know, Whiskers McFluff-Fluff is no longer with us. Today I have decided to hold a funeral for him.  
  
mirai-torankusu: Idiot! How can you hold a funeral for him if he was eaten? There's no body to bury!  
  
Thief-Chan: ...Okay then, screw that idea. Anyone have any other ideas for today?  
  
Bakura: Letting us go?  
  
Thief-Chan: Now why would I do that?  
  
Bakura: ...  
  
Thief-Chan: ...  
  
Bakura: Please?  
  
Thief-Chan: What about you? What do you think we should do today?  
  
mirai-torankusu: Let's consult my shoujo manga shrine!  
  
(MT pulls out his collection of shoujo manga and reads through them)  
  
Thief-Chan: Have you found anything?  
  
mirai-torankusu: I'm supposed to find something?  
  
Thief-Chan: *Sweatdrop*  
  
Yugi: How about giving us a day off?  
  
Mokuba: Yeah! I'm tired of being *their* slaves.  
  
(Mokuba looks at Yami Malik and Yami Bakura)  
  
Thief-Chan: Hmmm...  
  
Joey: Hey, where'd Tea go?  
  
Thief-Chan: I gave her away.  
  
Joey: Oh yeah...  
  
Thief-Chan: Okay, we can take a vacation. But where?  
  
Yami-Bakura: I can give you a free vacation.  
  
Thief-Chan: Where?  
  
Yami-Bakura: A free trip to the Shadow Realm!  
  
Thief-Chan: ...  
  
Bakura: ...  
  
mirai-torankusu: How is the weather there?  
  
Yami-Bakura: Eh, okay.  
  
mirai-torankusu: ...  
  
(MT goes back to his manga)  
  
Thief-Chan: I know where *I'd like to go*  
  
mirai-torankusu: *Mutters* Any where with Bakura...  
  
Thief-Chan: --' What was that?  
  
mirai-torankusu: Oh, nothing...  
  
Thief-Chan: Where would you like to go?  
  
mirai-torankusu: E3 of course!  
  
Thief-Chan: But...it's...over....  
  
mirai-torankusu: So?  
  
Thief-Chan: ^^;  
  
Yugi: I'd like to go to a card convention.  
  
Thief-Chan: Boring! What else?  
  
(Yugi looks sad)  
  
Yami Yugi: I'll go where ever Yugi wants to go.  
  
Thief-Chan: ...  
  
Yugi: Yay!  
  
Joey: I want to go ta da beach!  
  
Thief-Chan: Okay...  
  
Bakura: I don't really mind where we go, as long as you know who isn't there.  
  
Thief-Chan: Voldemort?  
  
Bakura: Who?  
  
Thief-Chan: Never mind...  
  
Yami Malik: I want to go where ever the Egyption God cards are!  
  
Kaiba: I'll go where ever I can beat Yugi; which is anywhere.  
  
Mokuba: I'll go where ever Kaiba wants to go.  
  
Tristan: I'll go where ever Serenity is.  
  
Joey: TRISTAN!  
  
(Joey's cell phone rings)  
  
Joey: Er...hello?  
  
Serenity: Hey, Joey! It's me! Guess where I am?  
  
Joey: Don't tell me...  
  
Serenity: I'm at the beach! You should come!  
  
(Joey hangs up)  
  
Joey: Serenity's at da beach.  
  
mirai-torankusu/Trista: SERENITY!  
  
Thief-Chan: ...  
  
(Thief-Chan whaps them both over the head)  
  
mirai-torankusu: Hey! You can't do that to me! I'm a genius!  
  
Thief-Chan: Well, it's settled then-We're going to the beach.  
  
(Note from Thief-Chan: This is where mirai-torankusu can take over for a while. Another note, I think it is so stupid how Mokuba calls Kaiba 'Kaiba' when he has the same last name as him. Mokuba should call Kaiba 'Seto'. I just like making fun of that.)  
  
(Note from mirai_torankusu: I have been grossly misunderstood so far. I don't have a collection of shoujo manga! It's my sister's! Also, I don't obsess over Serenity...often. And when I call myself a genius, I'm just kidding around. I'm not a genius (if I was, I wouldn't be shouting around like I do. That's just a lot of unwanted attention.)  
  
Joey: Hey, what's with all the notes all of a sudden?  
  
Thief-Chan: It's just a way to get in touch with the readers of the story.  
  
Joey: Get in the who with the what now?  
  
Thief-Chan: ...  
  
Bakura: How exactly are we going to go to the beach?  
  
Thief-Chan: Actually, it's 'how exactly are we going to the beach?' You don't need the 'to go' in the sentence.  
  
Bakura: ...  
  
Thief-Chan: What?!  
  
mirai-torankusu: You see what I have to put up with with?  
  
Yami Yugi: Let's just get to the beach already!  
  
Yami Bakura: Then, how do we get there?  
  
(A helicopter lands where they are at.)  
  
Tristan: Hey, a helicopter!  
  
(Tristan runs to the helicopter, but Kaiba smacks him out of the way.)  
  
Kaiba: Idiot! This is my personal helicopter! You chumps'll just have to find another way to the beach! C'mon Mokuba!  
  
Mokuba: Coming! Woof woof!  
  
Kaiba: ...  
  
(Kaiba and Mokuba get in the helicopter and fly off.)  
  
Yugi: I think we all saw that coming.  
  
mirai-torankusu: I didn't.  
  
Thief-Chan: You're the one typing this!  
  
mirai-torankusu: How could I be typing, if there's no computer?  
  
Bakura: What?!  
  
mirai-torankusu: We're all in the Matrix, you know.  
  
Joey: Hey! If we're in the Matrix, that means I can run on walls!  
  
(Joey tries to run on the walls, but he falls off and hits his head.)  
  
Joey: @_@ Ow!  
  
Yami Bakura: Wait a minute!  
  
mirai-torankusu: What is it?  
  
Yami Bakura: The beach is over there!  
  
Everyone: Huh?  
  
(Everyone looks over to the left and the beach is 20 feet away from them.)  
  
Thief-Chan: ...  
  
Tristan: Wow, I wish I thought of looking over to the left.  
  
(Everyone walks to the beach and they magically change into beach clothes. How you ask? Magic!)  
  
Thief-Chan: Nice explanation, stupid.  
  
mirai-torankusu: Hey, if you could think up a better explanation, then I wouldn't be writing this part of the story, now would I?  
  
Thief-Chan: Shut up.  
  
(Kaiba walks up to everyone.)  
  
Kaiba: While you fools were wasting time finding a way to get to the beach, I've just beaten fifty people in duel monsters!  
  
(A bunch of kindergartners run up to Kaiba and start crying.)  
  
Kindergartners: You stole our cards! Give them back!  
  
Kaiba: No way! You chumps lost them fair and square!  
  
Yugi: Kaiba! How could you take cards from these innocent little children?  
  
(The kindergartners look at Yugi.)  
  
Kindergartners: He has funny hair! Let's jump on him!  
  
Yugi: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(Yugi runs away from the kindergartners.)  
  
Yami Bakura: Bwa ha ha ha ha ha! Your light is such an idiot!  
  
Yami Yugi: At least my light isn't a whiny British guy!  
  
Bakura: Hey!  
  
Yami Bakura: You wanna fight, Pharoah?!  
  
Yami Yugi: Bring it on!  
  
Yami Bakura: That's it! Shadow Game, right now!  
  
Yami Yugi: You're on!  
  
Yami Malik: Screw this, I'm coming too!  
  
(Yami Bakura, Yami Yugi, and Yami Malik leave for the Shadow Realm.)  
  
Bakura: This has nothing to do with the beach at all!  
  
mirai-torankusu: Hey, I just said that in real life.  
  
Bakura: ...  
  
Malik: This is going nowhere.  
  
Joey: Hey, let's have a sand sculpture contest!  
  
Tristan: I'm already ahead of you, buddy!  
  
(Tristan has made a life-size statue of Serenity.)  
  
Joey: _ Tristan!  
  
Serenity: Wow! That's a really nice statue, Tristan!  
  
Joey: Get over here, Tristan!  
  
Tristan: Gotta go, bye!  
  
(Joey runs after Tristan.)  
  
mirai-torankusu: You know, I helped make most of that statue.  
  
(Serenity looks at MT with a confused look on her face.)  
  
Serenity: Er...who are you?  
  
(MT falls anime style.)  
  
mirai-torankusu: You don't know who I am?!  
  
Serenity: Just kidding. You're that nice boy who was afraid of the X-Rays, aren't you?  
  
mirai-torankusu: Er...yeah. That's me alright. So, how's it going?  
  
(Joey runs over to them.)  
  
Joey: Not you too!  
  
mirai-torankusu: Oh crap!  
  
(MT runs away from Joey.)  
  
Yugi: Help me!  
  
(Yugi is crawling with several kindergartners clinging to his hair.)  
  
Yugi: Where's my Yami?!  
  
Bakura: In the Shadow Realm.  
  
Yugi: Oh, this stinks!  
  
Bakura: Hey, has anyone else noticed that Thief-Chan is missing?  
  
Yuig: Well it's kind of hard to tell from down here!  
  
Bakura: And where is Mokuba?  
  
(Mokuba tackles Yugi)  
  
Yugi: GET THEM OFF OF ME!  
  
Bakura: *Sweatdrop* I think I'll go now...  
  
(Thief-Chan passes by Yugi eating ice cream)  
  
Yugi: Thief-Chan! Save me...  
  
Thief-Chan: Eh?  
  
(Thief-Chan kneels next to Yugi)  
  
Thief-Chan: Yugi, how old are you?  
  
Yugi: Fifteen...  
  
Thief-Chan: How old are those kids.  
  
Yugi: Five or six excluding Mokuba.  
  
Thief-Chan: You do the math.  
  
(Thief-Chan walks away)  
  
(All the Yamis re-appear)  
  
Yami Yugi: There, I won fair and square.  
  
Yami Bakura: You cheated.  
  
Yugi: HELP ME!  
  
Yami Malik: *Sweatdrop*  
  
(Yami Yugi pushes all the little kids off of Yugi)  
  
Yugi: I'm free!  
  
(Yugi starts running around)  
  
Yami Bakura: Get over here Mokuba! You're still my slave!  
  
Yami Malik: Hey, he's my slave too!  
  
Yami Bakura: I deserve him more than you!  
  
Yami Malik: Take that back!  
  
(Thief-Chan sits down on the beach and starts building a sand castle. In the background, Kaiba is dueling some person, mirai-torankusu and Tristan are running away from Joey while Serenity stands with a confused look on her face. Yami Bakura and Yami Malik are arguing over taking Mokuba as their own slave, Yugi is running around the beach shouting 'I'm free!' and Yami Yugi is sitting on the beach sighing as he is surrounded by a bunch of wierdos)  
  
Thief-Chan: There! It's perfect. I hope every one is enjoying this as much as I am. I wonder where they all are. Huh?  
  
(Thief-Chan turns around)  
  
Thief-Chan: What the-?!  
  
(Yami Malik has tied Mokuba to a pole and Yami Bakura has decided Ryou should be his slave. Kaiba is kicking sand at all the losers he has beaten. Yami Yugi is chasing after Yugi, who has just learned that he doesn't swim that well. Joey is climbing up a palm tree trying to reach Tristan, while mirai-torankusu sets the snack stand on fire shouting 'The matrix is evil! Use your cell phones to escape!')  
  
Thief-Chan: ...I'm never going on vacation again.   
  
(Thief-Chan snaps her fingers and they are transported back to where they started)  
  
Thief-Chan: Can you please explain to me what just happened?  
  
(No one says anything)  
  
Thief-Chan: Well?  
  
Joey: The dog ate my homework?  
  
Thief-Chan: ...  
  
Thief-Chan: Okay, that's all for today! Stay tuned for another episode of Wheel of Stuff! Now review! 


End file.
